In my first blog post I talked about why I started Armor-Bearer.com - essentially out of a recognition that I had neglected an important area of my life, forming true armor bearer friendships (with someone other than my wife - I'll explain that in another blog post).  With that recognition, and the desire to seek out such friendships - I need an action plan, and maybe you do to.

So, my challenge to myself and perhaps you is this - What is at least one action step you can take this week to improve the quality of your friendships and relationships?

Chuck Swindoll, evangelist and prominent Christian broadcaster, identifies four characteristic of intimate friendship:

1. An intimate friend is willing to sacrifice,
2. An intimate friend is a loyal defense before others,
3. Intimate friends give each other complete freedom to be themselves, and
4. An intimate friend is a constant source of encouragement

So, if I want to be intentional in my efforts to obtain and sustain intimate friendships here are a few steps I plan to put into practice in the days and weeks ahead:

1) As cliche as it sounds - Treat your friends how you want to be treated.  Yep, this is the golden rule, but I know it's critical to strong friendships.  Anytime I treat a friend with respect, they tend to want to reciprocate. I encourage them, they motivate me. Confide in them, and they confide in me. And so on.  I feel I do this step already, but I have to remind myself and demonstrate this even more every day!

2) Never be too busy for your friends.  To achieve an armor bearer friendship I have to be *present* in my friends' lives.  A true friend is one who never seems too busy to lend an ear, lend a hand, help solve a problem - you are simply there for them without your own agenda. [A good friend will help you move; a true friend will help you move the bodies - just a bit of crude humor]

3) Allow your friends room to grow, accept both their strengths and weaknesses.  My friends may not be perfect, but neither am I.  My responsibility as a friend is simply to love them and not try to change or fix them.

And I know I'll struggle the most with this next one, at least the second part - but I have to get there to be a 21st century armor bearer:

4)  Pray for and with your friends.  I do pray for my friends, but praying *with* them is not something I'm 100% comfortable with yet.  Even praying with my wife (outside of at the dinner table) is not a natural thing for me.  I know the encouraging power of Prayer and I know that once I learn to pray with my friends that we will share more than a friendship, we will be brothers that share a loving
Father.

So, time for your feedback - - - What helps you sustain your friendships and relationships?

Tags: encouragement | prayer | friendship