In my first blog post I talked about why I started Armor-Bearer.com - essentially out of a recognition that I had neglected an important area of my life, forming true armor bearer friendships (with someone other than my wife - I'll explain that in another blog post).  With that recognition, and the desire to seek out such friendships - I need an action plan, and maybe you do to.

So, my challenge to myself and perhaps you is this - What is at least one action step you can take this week to improve the quality of your friendships and relationships?

Chuck Swindoll, evangelist and prominent Christian broadcaster, identifies four characteristic of intimate friendship:

1. An intimate friend is willing to sacrifice,
2. An intimate friend is a loyal defense before others,
3. Intimate friends give each other complete freedom to be themselves, and
4. An intimate friend is a constant source of encouragement

So, if I want to be intentional in my efforts to obtain and sustain intimate friendships here are a few steps I plan to put into practice in the days and weeks ahead:

1) As cliche as it sounds - Treat your friends how you want to be treated.  Yep, this is the golden rule, but I know it's critical to strong friendships.  Anytime I treat a friend with respect, they tend to want to reciprocate. I encourage them, they motivate me. Confide in them, and they confide in me. And so on.  I feel I do this step already, but I have to remind myself and demonstrate this even more every day!

2) Never be too busy for your friends.  To achieve an armor bearer friendship I have to be *present* in my friends' lives.  A true friend is one who never seems too busy to lend an ear, lend a hand, help solve a problem - you are simply there for them without your own agenda. [A good friend will help you move; a true friend will help you move the bodies - just a bit of crude humor]

3) Allow your friends room to grow, accept both their strengths and weaknesses.  My friends may not be perfect, but neither am I.  My responsibility as a friend is simply to love them and not try to change or fix them.

And I know I'll struggle the most with this next one, at least the second part - but I have to get there to be a 21st century armor bearer:

4)  Pray for and with your friends.  I do pray for my friends, but praying *with* them is not something I'm 100% comfortable with yet.  Even praying with my wife (outside of at the dinner table) is not a natural thing for me.  I know the encouraging power of Prayer and I know that once I learn to pray with my friends that we will share more than a friendship, we will be brothers that share a loving
Father.

So, time for your feedback - - - What helps you sustain your friendships and relationships?

Tags: encouragement | prayer | friendship

Welcome everyone to my blog site and more importantly my first real blog post.  I wanted to set the stage for why I'm doing this and what you can expect in blog entries to follow.  Why "Armor-Bearer.com"? What's that tag-line mean ("Serving and Supporting in the Spirit of Armorbearing")?

I've been micro-blogging since earlier this year via Twitter (@DouglasLess) and many of my "tweets" seem to focus on topics of service, leadership, management, life lessons, and famous quotes in an attempt to inspire, motivate, encourage, and maybe even to challenge folks a bit.  My passion for leadership really came into focus three years ago when it was made clear to me that we need to examine and strengthen our beliefs if we are to change our impact and effectiveness with those around us.  Thanks to some awesome Bible-based teaching and connecting with successful Christian leaders - I'm discovering more and more how to use my talents in a God-honoring way.

So, Armor-Bearer.com was spawned from two related things - a Bible passage that hit a chord with me and the opportunity to deliver my first sermon just one month ago with that very Bible verse as the centerpiece of the message.  The passage comes from the Old Testament, in First Samuel chapter 14, Verse 7:

"Do all that you have in mind," his armor-bearer said. "Go ahead; I am with you heart and soul."

The armor-bearer that said these encouraging 16 words was that of Jonathan, the prince and son of Israel's King Saul.  Jonathan, a mere teenager at the time, was about to embark on what seemed like an impossible mission of entering the enemy encampment of seasoned Philistine soldiers by himself while the rest of Saul's discouraged, nearly defeated, army lay sleeping.  The armor-bearer believed in Jonathan and by saying "I am with you heart and soul" his faith actually helped to increase Jonathan's faith and together these two young men start a battle that conquers an army.

These words resonated with me - when was the last time I've told anyone I was with them "heart and soul"?  And is there someone in my life that would say the same to me - that they are with me, with me all the way.  God is looking for people that have that kind of heart, who are willing to encourage those they are called to serve - he even gives them a name - he calls them Armor Bearers.

I realize that I've been focused for so long on family and career that I've not made the time or space in my life for an armor bearer friendship.  So, I created Armor-Bearer.com because as Christians we need each other.  Every man and every women needs someone to walk through this life together - someone who will be with you heart and soul, no matter what.  

I personally want to be considered a modern day armor bearer to my friends, family, church, church leaders, and clients - someone you can count on to support you, help you, and benefit you especially when you face trials or great challenges.

Cheers!

Tags: armorbearing | leader | leadership | armor-bearer | friendship | service